When Cornered, Confuse
This punch line, which is one of my favourites- was something, that occured to me during one of my numerous timepass sessions with junta in IDLyfarm (my wing) in IIM Calcutta - but then, it's probably something that all of us have seen happening but havent really realized. Let me explain..
When, in doubt, Fart, and Fart long - that's a lesson learnt early in school, when teachers evaluate you not by the quality but the number of lines, of text you write. My brother, told me about the number of pages he wrote, for his state board economics paper. We used to have a Tamil teacher in school who supposedly scored answers based on "jaan kanakku" :)
If possible, Complicate
Jargon- One of the strongest pillars, that supports the IT industry, Consulting, Financial Services, .. is one of the best examples of this. Most industries have their own jargon. For instance -Engineers have their own jargon. There is a "file" which one encounters in most Engineering workshop courses, which is called "bastard file" - and my teacher took offense, when I chuckled, thinking about its origins. There are joints, called male and female - easily recognizable by their shapes and we weren't supposed to joke about that either.
Anyway, "If possible, complicate" probably has more to do with being confusing in general, rather than when cornered, but it is still relevant..
Check out this bit on Jargon- from the economist.com
"...Avoid, above all,the kind of jargon that tries either to dignify nonsense with seriousness (The appointee...should have a proven track record of operating at a senior level within a multi-site international business, preferably within a service- or brand-oriented environment , declared an advertisement for a financial controller for The Economist Group) or to obscure the truth (We shall not launch the ground offensive until we have attrited the Republican Guard to the point when they no longer have an effective offensive capacity —the Pentagon's way of saying that the allies would not fight on the ground until they had killed so many Iraqis that the others would not attack). What was meant by the Israeli defence ministry when it issued the following press release remains unclear: The United States and Israel now possess the capability to conduct real-time simulations with man in the loop for full-scale theatre missile defence architectures for the Middle East.."
Anyways, in b-school, you realize the importance of jargon - as a tool, by which you separate, the insiders from the outsiders. All elite communities have their own jargon - For instance -when you are in a company of IITians - you dont say that the food tastes bad. You say the food is arbit
When cornered, confuse
The less you know, and the more you have to talk about what you dont know, the brighter your chances of screwing up. So, the easy way out when you are posed with an uncomfortable question is to talk about something else. Wax eloquent about the same. Follow it up, with a did I answer your question? Most likely, you will not be challenged. If you are, well, you can always offer to take the discussion offline. And that should kill the thread. This is something, a lot of speakers do with polish. In some classes, I've been, I've seen this charade repeated often. One finance professor actually dictated a story (he called it a case) about an enterprising mango seller in Malda and his accounting pains. He also told us about a man who dropped dead while his wife was making a dosa.
There were a few more like him...
Call centre people have a variant of this. When cornered, repeat. I used to use reliance's r-connect facility to access the internet. For some reason- it refused to work for a week. I could get connected- and then no bytes were sent or received.
The customer care officer, insisted that the connection was fine, and that I get off the call, connect, try to access echh tee tee pee colon slash slash w w w dot google dot com count the number of bytes sent and received, and tell him the same -
I did this. They recorded my complaint. Nothing happened. After a few days, I called up to find out - they said the connection is fine. And asked me to repeat the entire process. This time, I gave up.
When, in doubt, Fart, and Fart long - that's a lesson learnt early in school, when teachers evaluate you not by the quality but the number of lines, of text you write. My brother, told me about the number of pages he wrote, for his state board economics paper. We used to have a Tamil teacher in school who supposedly scored answers based on "jaan kanakku" :)
If possible, Complicate
Jargon- One of the strongest pillars, that supports the IT industry, Consulting, Financial Services, .. is one of the best examples of this. Most industries have their own jargon. For instance -Engineers have their own jargon. There is a "file" which one encounters in most Engineering workshop courses, which is called "bastard file" - and my teacher took offense, when I chuckled, thinking about its origins. There are joints, called male and female - easily recognizable by their shapes and we weren't supposed to joke about that either.
Anyway, "If possible, complicate" probably has more to do with being confusing in general, rather than when cornered, but it is still relevant..
Check out this bit on Jargon- from the economist.com
"...Avoid, above all,the kind of jargon that tries either to dignify nonsense with seriousness (The appointee...should have a proven track record of operating at a senior level within a multi-site international business, preferably within a service- or brand-oriented environment , declared an advertisement for a financial controller for The Economist Group) or to obscure the truth (We shall not launch the ground offensive until we have attrited the Republican Guard to the point when they no longer have an effective offensive capacity —the Pentagon's way of saying that the allies would not fight on the ground until they had killed so many Iraqis that the others would not attack). What was meant by the Israeli defence ministry when it issued the following press release remains unclear: The United States and Israel now possess the capability to conduct real-time simulations with man in the loop for full-scale theatre missile defence architectures for the Middle East.."
Anyways, in b-school, you realize the importance of jargon - as a tool, by which you separate, the insiders from the outsiders. All elite communities have their own jargon - For instance -when you are in a company of IITians - you dont say that the food tastes bad. You say the food is arbit
When cornered, confuse
The less you know, and the more you have to talk about what you dont know, the brighter your chances of screwing up. So, the easy way out when you are posed with an uncomfortable question is to talk about something else. Wax eloquent about the same. Follow it up, with a did I answer your question? Most likely, you will not be challenged. If you are, well, you can always offer to take the discussion offline. And that should kill the thread. This is something, a lot of speakers do with polish. In some classes, I've been, I've seen this charade repeated often. One finance professor actually dictated a story (he called it a case) about an enterprising mango seller in Malda and his accounting pains. He also told us about a man who dropped dead while his wife was making a dosa.
There were a few more like him...
Call centre people have a variant of this. When cornered, repeat. I used to use reliance's r-connect facility to access the internet. For some reason- it refused to work for a week. I could get connected- and then no bytes were sent or received.
The customer care officer, insisted that the connection was fine, and that I get off the call, connect, try to access echh tee tee pee colon slash slash w w w dot google dot com count the number of bytes sent and received, and tell him the same -
I did this. They recorded my complaint. Nothing happened. After a few days, I called up to find out - they said the connection is fine. And asked me to repeat the entire process. This time, I gave up.
posted by 42510 at 9:19 AM
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