Monday, March 06, 2006

The revenge of the Call Centre Parrots

Calling call centres, I've found is not good for my health. Call centre employees seem to behave like trained parrots. Parrots trained by morons to say and do exactly the wrong things.
On multiple occasions, I've spoken to different call centre employees with exactly the same result- frustration.

Today I called Hutch customer care. I had a compaint number (yes!)- it's "139811076 ". I had raised a query a week back, and I was in a combative mood. I wanted to get a status update (sic)

Mr. X Hi this is (moron) from Hutch. How can I help you?
Me - Hi, I have a compaint number. Can I know the status please. The number is One thre..
Mr.X (interrupts)Sir, can I have your name please
Me. (sighs) Prasannaa, and my no is 98841 39957
Mr. X Mr. Prasannaa, Please confirm the number- nine double eight four one three double nine five sen
Me- yes. that's correct. and now my complaint number is...
Mr. X That wont be necessary sir. Please tell me what your problem is, and I can track it.
Me. (thinks- brilliant. trust a moron to find a way to touch his nose visiting his ass in the process).. This is a complaint made on Feb 26th - I was trying to do an sms recharge. I had subscribed for the same from the HDFC ATM. I got a pin. I got an sms that said to Recharge, I should type "RC HDFC AMT PIN" and send the SMS to 140. That I did dutifully. And I got a automated SMS saying " The message format is invalid. Please call 98860 98860 ". The said number is not a chennai number. Some moron hard coded a number there...

Mr. X - Can I please place you hold for a minute?
Me. In the meantime Recollects my exchange on the 26th.

**********************************************************************
...(similar painful exercise of customer verification)
... similar exercise of problem explanation
Mr. Y Sir - your SMS seems to be going to 1140. I think you've sent them to 1140 instead of 140. Can you please re-send. It will work.
Me. Okay thanks.
Mr. Y - (parrots) Thank you for calling Hutch. This is (Moron) here. Have a nice evening.
Me. Checks sms delivery receipt. It is from 140 not 1140.

...
...(similar painful exercise of customer verification)
... similar exercise of problem explanation to another officer
Mr. Y1 Sir - your SMS seems to be going to 1140. I think you've sent them to 1140 instead of 140. Can you please re-send. It will work.
Me. I just did that. I've sent it properly. Can you please check what's going on?
Mr. Y1 Sir- I am sure you have sent the SMS to 1140. Please resend.
Me. I have a delivery receipt from 140. I assure you, I am neither blind nor mad. Can you please take a compaint?!
Mr. Y1 - I'll take a complaint sir.
Me. And please give me the number as well!
Mr. Y1 - that wont be necessary.
Me. I insist. I would like to be able to track it, and not be required to explain the story to another person again.
Mr Y1- Grudingly gives me a number.
Mr. Y1 - (parrots) Thank you for calling Hutch. This is (Moron) here. Have a nice evening.
**********************************************************************

after 10 minutes

(moron) is back.
Mr X. Sir, there is no problem at our end. You need to go to the bank, register for sms recharge, and then..
Me. I've already done that, I've explained that in my complaint, I explained clearly what I did, and that, I got a pin code, a syntax, and if I send an sms it does not work.
Mr X. Sir, in that case you need to take a print out of your bank statement, and go to the hutch office.
Me. Exasperated - dude I'm not asking for a refund. I'm telling you the system does not work.
Mr X. Sir, there are 2 systems available, sms recharge and online recharge. (uses When cornered confuse)
Me. That is something I know. What I'm trying to say, is your systems dont work. Can you please take a complaint? Or re-open that one?
Mr X. Sir, that is a problem with the bank. I use citibank's service, I dont have any problem. You need to take this up with HDFC.
Me. this will make a nice blog entry.
Mr. X. - (parrots) Thank you ...
Me. Hangs up - I cant hear that bull shit again

More on call centre constipation to follow. Up next, my adventure with Airtel.

1 Comments:

Anonymous kapil said...

From Hutch website:
You don't have to mention your PIN and can recharge your prepaid card with the regular recharge slip denominations (330, 550, 1100, and 3300) only. To recharge through SMS, all you have to pay is the normal SMS charge. And if you recharge your card while roaming, the roaming SMS rates will apply.

However, if you enter the right amount, it doesn't work. It says temporarily unavailable for the last 6 months.

11:31 PM  

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