Monday, October 31, 2005

"Balu auto consultant"

No, this is not the title of the next b grade Tamil film with a rags to riches story where the impoverished dark looking hero woos a rich, spoilt, fair north Indian "settu ponnu". This, is what I saw, painted brightly on an Auto, in Chennai :)

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Back to more dope on Pucci.. Uber Fahrttt......

"...Long long ago, so long ago that nobody knows how long ago, there lived an uber-geek in Chennai. He used to sit in front of a box that shone with a wierd luminance and produced what he called "code". His life was a happy one, and he did not have many worries. One fine rainy day, an old man appeared in his dream and said that he must travel, see the world and learn some new tricks. So off went our nerd to a riverside town that was called Kol-ka-ta. He found what the old man from the dream was talking about there, and spent two short years in the midst of an unruly crowd of people and learnt words like globe, put-lake, CP, etc. When he came back to his hometown, nobody could recognize him anymore, he was no more a geek.. he'd transformed into a "suit". His old friends could only identify him by his lanky frame and love for filter kaapi...
Thus was born the legend of the pucci, the geek, the lean, mean, coding machine that metamorphosed into a geela duuuude..."

This horrible stuff is from HERE

The real story behind the legend of the Pucci can be found

Go, Get a ..

Wonder, how this term originated.. Considering, making this, the logo for this blog :)

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Business World writes about IIPM

When the chickens come home...
The curious case of Arindam Chaudhuri, the Indian Institute of Planning & Management and Planman Consulting
Aditya Khanna & Aarti Kothari

Cast of characters
"Professor" Arindam Chaudhuri: A man who is incessantly advertised and promoted in the most hyperbolic terms by the organisations he runs. The publicity materials tout him as "a management guru", "a best selling author of management books" - notably Count Your Chicken Before They Hatch, an "iconoclastic film maker", creator of the "Theory i Management", an "economist by passion", a trainer of leaders, CEOs.... He is the dean, Centre for Economic Research and Advanced Studies, at the Indian Institute of Planning and Management (IIPM), a management training institute started by his father. Apart from that, he founded Planman Consulting and Planman Motion Pictures.

Rashmi Bansal: Indian Institute of Management-Ahmedabad alumna, founder-editor of JAM - Just Another Magazine, a monthly publication targeted at the youth. She is also a contributing editor to Businessworld and writes a blog called youthcurry.

Gaurav Sabnis: Indian Institute of Management-Lucknow alumnus and inveterate blogger.

Assorted bloggers: A few anonymous bloggers who purport to support IIPM and many others who jumped into the fray to defend Rashmi and Gaurav in the IIPM vs Rashmi Bansal and Gaurav Sabnis blog battle.

The case: The case: IIPM brings out huge advertisements touting ..

Read More HERE
~Free Regn Reqd.

Friday, October 21, 2005

What they dont teach you at the IIMs

But, they probably teach you at the Indian Institute of plantain management..Banana jokes..ha ha..

What is green in the morning, yellow in the afternoon and brown in the evening?
*A banana.

After breaking up with her beau, Jangles Banana, why did Ali Banana get all mushy?
*Because she heard, 'Peelings, Nothing More Than Peelings,' on the Peelilah Radio Show.

What was the name of the greatest Banana Soccer player?

What's the difference between a ripe banana and a rotten banana?
*A few days

Where do monkey's hide their bananas?
*In their bananadanas.

Why'd the banana cross the road?
*It a peeled to him.

What'd the banana say to the ice cream?
*Wanna' split?


Thursday, October 20, 2005

More on IIPM

A really fine piece of investigative journalism HERE
and HERE

And some really hilarious stuff HERE

Monday, October 17, 2005

Beta Nambari to Bapu Das Nambari...

Can some one explain how this is possible?! says
..”After resigning from Professorship at IIM Bangalore (Indian Institute of Management), Dr. M. K. Chaudhuri established the Institute in 1973. Dr. Chaudhuri, after having been a Professor at XLRI Jamshedpur, XIM Bhubaneshwar, and having been the founder director of management courses at IMT Ghaziabad, took over as Research Professor and founder Director. The first residential full-time Post-Graduate Diploma Programme commenced on 12th August 1974″

And according to
IMT Ghaziabad was founded IN 1980.
How pray, did Dr. Chaudhuri start IIPM AFTER being founder director of IMT!?

Read up on the Indian Institute Of PlantainManagementHERE

Some more questions have been raised

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Guess who are consultants to McKinsey..! is the site, the screenshot is from, on 16 Oct,2005, 11:38 AM, IST.

"...It provides consulting solutions to leading corporate houses like G.E., Citibank, ICICI, Standard Chartered, HSBC, PWC, Hewitt Associates, Ernst & Young, McKinsey & Co., Amway, Ranbaxy, Electrolux, Sony, Samsung, PepsiCo, Coke, Hewlett Packard, Nestle etc... "

What say!?

Thursday, October 13, 2005

IIPM - going bananas

The year- 1973.
A dream - A little kid with long hair wants to go to "B school". He wakes up his dad in the middle of the night to find out what "b school" means.
A fart- daddy dearest lets one go.Lo and Behold - out comes an egg.
And another. This time it's a banana.

Kiddo takes the egg and sits on it for a month. Kiddo expects to get a chicken out of it. After one month of being sat on, the egg gives way and Kiddo ends up with egg on ass. He deludes himself that a chicken comes out, and writes an essay for his school magazine. He calls it "Eat your chicks, before they hatch"

In the meantime, Daddy uses the banana to start a Banana Farming school. He calls it the Indian Institute of Plantain Management (IIPM). Their mission is to teach people how to make bananas.

Kiddo's chicken grows up. Kiddo however doesn't. One fine day, the chicken is eaten up by the neighbourhood barber's dog. Kiddo develops a morbid fear of barbers. Kiddo takes an oath "I will not cut my hair henceforth".

Kiddo grows up into a pony tailed good for nothing teenager. Daddy sees a problem on hand - what to do with kiddo!?
Another dream - this time he dreams of the past- Of kiddo's dream to go to a b school, and "the movement". Ah.. the movement, that had resulted from the fart... The butterfly effect was indeed true. One small fart had resulted in a nationwide movement today. The Indian Institute of Plantain Management movement. He had set up banana farming schools across the length and the breadth of the country. Eureka! Now it all fell together. The "B school" of kiddo's dreams was a banana school.

Daddy enrols kiddo in the banana school. To provide kiddo with pocket money for his jaguar's fuel, daddy hikes fees and gives the additional $$ to kiddo.
Kiddo is not happy. Daddy gives kiddo a gold medal. Kiddo is not happy.
Daddy makes him dean. Kiddo is still not happy. Daddy thinks kiddo needs publicity. He thinks- what is my son's biggest achievement in life? Bingo! -The essay he wrote when in school. He frantically rummages through kiddo's closets. He retreives the essay from a grubby old magazine and types it up. He adds some management jargon for good measure, throws in a bunch of oft-repeated anecdotes, cooks up a theory while in the potty - and calls in "aai management" - (with due respect, to the crap that the theory owed its orgin too (note-daddy spent his childhood in chennai, and hence thought in Tamil)) and then gets "Eat your chicks before they hatch" published. 10000 copies are printed. Daddy buys all of them on day 1. Media reports talk of a new bestseller. Daddy splashes kiddo's pony tailed face all over the papers.
A new management guru is born overnight.

Like most Indian Guru's, kiddo gets greedy. He hikes the fees indiscriminately in the banana school. By now, conventional farming has taken a backseat. Most students want placements. Kiddo tries offering bananas, for some time, but they are not happy. So kiddo starts "Plantain Consulting" - "We drive clients bananas" is their punch line. He places students in this company. He also places some other students in a few
BPO's (Banana Processing Organizations). In the meantime, kiddo finds out, that the barber's son did his MBA from an IIM. It irks kiddo to no end. So what if he has a diploma in management. I have a gold medal from a banana school.Beat That.

And so, he starts a new ad campaign "Dare to think bananas" He launches a new course called "Global Onions and Turnip threat Analysis" where he takes students on a study tour to farms in italy and spain and even france - to discuss the threats from the global onions and turnips to banana farmers in India. After all, they all compete for the same $$s wrt to the global consumers.

He includes facts and figures in his ads - "Indian Institute of Plantain Management ranks ahead of 3 IIMs in Banana Industry interfacing".

Unfortunately, he goes a bit overboard. He cooks up facts and figures, and this is brought to the limelight by JAM MAG and some bloggers who link to the same - Gaurav
and Varna

Kiddo sends them a legal notice. He offers to give them a banana each, if they remove their offensive posts.

More details on this HERE


..Please read the fine print carefully. It is as fine, as the fine print, in the ads used by the indian institute of plantain management
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblances to any characters in real life, are coincidental!!